Top 5 Reasons To Buy A Sword
5. Hobbits Have Them
Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past millennium, you’ve heard of The Lord of the Rings. If you haven’t, then I’ll sum it up for you. It was a series of books about a bunch of Hobbits who slice through Middle Earth on one very long and exciting adventure. Those books were then made in one really awesome trilogy of movies in the early 2000’s. In those movies there were a TON, I’m talking thousands of different weapons. But the majority of them were swords. So, if you need a reason to buy a sword, do it because the Hobbits had them. Frodo would be really honored if you’d pick up a replica of his sword, Sting today.
5. Hobbits Have Them
Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past millennium, you’ve heard of The Lord of the Rings. If you haven’t, then I’ll sum it up for you. It was a series of books about a bunch of Hobbits who slice through Middle Earth on one very long and exciting adventure. Those books were then made in one really awesome trilogy of movies in the early 2000’s. In those movies there were a TON, I’m talking thousands of different weapons. But the majority of them were swords. So, if you need a reason to buy a sword, do it because the Hobbits had them. Frodo would be really honored if you’d pick up a replica of his sword, Sting today.
4. Gardening
Sure, you could buy actual gardening tools to trim the hedges with, but what fun would that be. We suggest buying the biggest, sharpest sword you can find and go to town on that dying shrub you’ve been meaning to cut down. It doesn’t really even have to be in your yard. The neighborhood would probably really appreciate it if you trimmed back that massive poison oak vine creeping up sweet Miss Jackson’s mailbox. Just don’t cut her mailbox in half, those Shinwa swords are Sharp!
4. Gardening
Sure, you could buy actual gardening tools to trim the hedges with, but what fun would that be. We suggest buying the biggest, sharpest sword you can find and go to town on that dying shrub you’ve been meaning to cut down. It doesn’t really even have to be in your yard. The neighborhood would probably really appreciate it if you trimmed back that massive poison oak vine creeping up sweet Miss Jackson’s mailbox. Just don’t cut her mailbox in half, those Shinwa swords are Sharp!
3. Home Defense
Before you get started, we know, “A gun would be more effective.” But, not everyone can own a gun, and not everyone wants to spray and pray at an assailant with their family sleeping just through the wall. You might have to sneak up on them if they actually had a gun. You don’t have to look far to find someone who protected their home with a sword. Check out this news article of a Mormon bishop that chased off an attacker with a samurai sword. I can tell you right now that someone running at me screaming like a banshee with a katana over their head is going to scare me whether I’m packing or not. I mean, I might get $100 for your flat-screen at the pawn shop, but is that really worth losing a limb over? I need my arms later for things like z;’s;lsllas,fasfdgfgfdkjsaflfl,. That was my test at typing without arms, so I definitely do need them to type.
3. Home Defense
Before you get started, we know, “A gun would be more effective.” But, not everyone can own a gun, and not everyone wants to spray and pray at an assailant with their family sleeping just through the wall. You might have to sneak up on them if they actually had a gun. You don’t have to look far to find someone who protected their home with a sword. Check out this news article of a Mormon bishop that chased off an attacker with a samurai sword. I can tell you right now that someone running at me screaming like a banshee with a katana over their head is going to scare me whether I’m packing or not. I mean, I might get $100 for your flat-screen at the pawn shop, but is that really worth losing a limb over? I need my arms later for things like z;’s;lsllas,fasfdgfgfdkjsaflfl,. That was my test at typing without arms, so I definitely do need them to type.
2. Zombie Apocalypse
“There’s no such thing as zombies,” you say. Well obviously you don’t have a TV and you haven’t seen The Walking Dead. It is a reality show based in Atlanta, Ga. and I’m still wondering how the Braves are having home games because I thought everyone left? A crossbow might be fun, or maybe a rifle. But, you’ve got to take some pride in your zombie slaying. Anyone can shoot one a distance like ol’ Daryl Dixon. But, it takes some real courage to cut off their arms and put a collar around them like that fiery little thing Michonne. Thus, you definitely need a sword for the zombie apocalypse.
2. Zombie Apocalypse
“There’s no such thing as zombies,” you say. Well obviously you don’t have a TV and you haven’t seen The Walking Dead. It is a reality show based in Atlanta, Ga. and I’m still wondering how the Braves are having home games because I thought everyone left? A crossbow might be fun, or maybe a rifle. But, you’ve got to take some pride in your zombie slaying. Anyone can shoot one a distance like ol’ Daryl Dixon. But, it takes some real courage to cut off their arms and put a collar around them like that fiery little thing Michonne. Thus, you definitely need a sword for the zombie apocalypse.
1. Butch Coolidge Chose A Sword
You may have seen the animated children’s movie Pulp Fiction before. Okay, it’s not animated and it definitely isn’t a children’s movie. But, there is a scene at the end of the movie that involves Bruce Willis as the legendary character Butch Coolidge. He can choose from a whole pawn shop of weapons from shotguns, guitars and chainsaws, and he chooses a samurai sword to seek revenge on his captor from earlier in the movie. Maybe you’re unfamiliar with this scene, so I’ve scoured the internet (Ok, I searched YouTube) and found it for you. If it’s the weapon of choice for Butch, its got to be the one for me!
